Timing is Everything

Today is September 11, 2012.  A very somber day for our country.  11 years have passed since the tragedy, and I like many others, can remember exactly what I was doing when we got word the the airplane had hit the first tower.  I am pretty sure I will never forget that moment, and it is not something that I want to forget.  That moment in time brought this country closer together.  People were praying together, looking out for each other, and being kind to one another (for the most part).  These are things that should be done on an everyday basis, not just in the mist of a tragedy.  But nonetheless, what a strength we felt during that time.  Unfortunately, many many innocent lives were lost in this tragedy.  I am forever grateful for those that lost their lives, those that sacrificed, and those that continually fight for our freedom and try to keep terrorists away.  

This brings me to my topic, timing is everything.  Many of you know my husband is in the military, he served our country through 2 tours in Iraq.  As he and many friends posted memories and thank you's on Facebook, one hit me kind of hard.  This is what he said, "crazy to think that 5 years ago today we landed in Iraq..."  Five years ago today, my husband and many others started their first tour in Iraq.  It seems like so long ago, yet I remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember the stress, anxiety, sadness, and pride that I was feeling up to his initial departure. And the thought of the love of my life and best friend going into a war zone, a country where for the most part he wasn't wanted, and was sought out.  That was one of the hardest years of my life.  But it strengthened us, me more than him.  I became independent and strong among other things, and I think I was just being prepared for more things to come.  Luckily I was not left alone in this crazy time in my life.  I can still remember the conversation I had with my husband.  "Nate has a girlfriend, I think you would like her.  You should get together."  Me - "You want ME of all people to get together with a totally random person that I don't know..." "Yes, babe, I know you girls will get along great and you can lean on each other during this deployment." So Carissa and I met at Olive Garden, for a get to know you date, and its a good thing our husbands know us well because we have been best friends ever since.  Without her, the deployment would have been ridiculously hard.  It is SO nice to have someone who knows exactly what you are going through.  Someone who you can share your ups and downs, your worries and frustrations, everything and we spent many a nights at Starbucks or Olive Garden, crying on one another's shoulders, looking for the strength to make it through another day. And guess what, we made it through that year, and our relationship is stronger than ever.

A little while later and deployment #2 came around for us.  Luckily Nate and Rissa did not have to go through another one.  But she still supported me through our second.  Sending random texts, meeting up for dates, and letting me cry to her about my frustrations.  The second deployment was much different for us.  I found out I was pregnant the day Kenny left for Iraq.  Talk about a day of mixed emotions.  I just cried, and Kenny tried to do everything he could to comfort me, knowing that nothing was going to help, and there was nothing he could do to stay behind.  Thankfully, my pregnancy was very easy (I think the Lord know I couldn't handle a rough pregnancy and my husband being gone), and Kenny was able to be home for the birth and 2 weeks after.  He returned from his deployment when she was three months old, so luckily she was never really affected by it. 

Here are some pictures of that time in our lives.

Kenny leaving when Kenzi was 3 months old.

I think this picture completely explains how we feel about deployments.

We made sure to support daddy while he was gone.

We love daddy!

Fast forward to now.  We have a COMPLETE daddy's girl.  I mean whenever he leaves the room, she cries so hard that she does the whole stop breathing and panicking until he comes back.  It is completely ridiculous.  Tonight when he left for work, she went through this routine and so we called daddy and just hearing his voice instantly calmed her down.  Can you imagine if he had been deployed while she was old enough to understand?  That would be SO hard on both of us.  I can't imagine having to have the strength for both of us.  I admire military spouses that go through deployments with kids because it is such a hard thing to understand.  Why you can't call them whenever you want, or see them whenever you want, how most the time you NEVER know anything for certain.  It is a rough time.

Timing is Everything....

I have said in previous posts that the Lord for sure knew what I needed, and always done.  I am thankful that I just had to go through pregnancy without Kenny and a few short months of Kenzi's life. I am thankful that we did not wait until he came home from deployment to start our family.    I needed Kenzi at that time of my life to give me strength to get through another deployment.  Because it was just her and I for the first 3 months, we will have a bond that I am not sure we would have had in a different situation.  I am thankful that heavenly father is all knowing and knows what needs to happen in my life at what time.  And although sometimes I don't understand it, and may even be angry or find it unfair, in the end it always makes sense eventually...